I've blogged before. In fact, I was an "online journaler" for seven or so years before the term "blogging" was invented.

This particular blog will be about my health - physical, mental, spiritual.

So. I'm 37, have been married for ten years, and have a five year old son. I live in Colorado, although I grew up in Canada.

I've been told that I'm a hippie tree-hugger type, though a rather practical one. I try to grow as much of my food as possible - organically, of course! I love animals. I'm an artist, and I've been told I dress like a poet, whatever that means - I am decidedly not a poet.

My loves include raising and showing guinea pigs, hiking, being outdoors, digging in the dirt, art, reading, camping, urban exploration, yoga, meditation, and sewing.

Now, my health.

Last July, I suddenly started experiencing odd and severe neurological symptoms, over about a three day period. Double vision, difficulty with vision when going from a lighter area to a darker one (eg: coming in from outside), loss of balance, loss of coordination, not knowing where my feet were or where to put them while walking, numbness in the back of my legs, numbness in bladder/urethra (ie: no sensation that I'm suddenly *going*, until I feel wetness - wee, fun!), severe pain behind my eyes, and severe myoclonus. The doctors I saw weren't nearly as concerned as I was - they did an EEG, which was normal at the time, and an MRI of my brain (no contrast). No major issues there, and then it was dropped. Most of the time, I can only get around using forearm crutches. I fall a lot. The twitching isn't cute - I look like a stumbling drunk when I walk, and get a lot of stares and critical looks while picking up my son from kindergarten!

Fast forward to now. New health insurance, new neurologist. She had me have an MRI of my entire spine, with and without contrast. It showed a lot of weirdness in my neck, and she sent me off to a spinal surgeon. He was very concerned with what he saw - called it cervical myelopathy, which could certainly be causing the issues. He told me that with surgery, the degeneration/pressure on spinal cord could essentially be stopped in its tracks, though I might be left with a stiff neck. He said that without surgery, it very well could progress, and that might look rather grim, since I am already having such severe symptoms.

Saw my neurologist yesterday - well, she doesn't agree with the spinal doc - doesn't think my neck looks "that bad". She said to me "I know these symptoms are very real to YOU..."

I'm just feeling so sad. I feel as though I'm never going to be taken seriously. There is obviously something quite wrong. I probably sound like a hypochondriac, but I refuse to believe that it's "all in my head".

Other health issues, besides the twitchy crappy ones - I tested positive for rheumatoid factor. This didn't come as a big surprise, because ever since I was a kid, my family referred to my 'arthritis'. My grandma would soak my hands in warm olive oil, then massage them for me, because they would hurt so bad. I'd get flare ups where ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING would hurt so bad, and fevers, and would just want to curl up in a ball for days. I feel that yoga helps me so much with my joints, but for the past nine or so months now, my balance/coordination problems keep me from doing much of what I used to.

So, I see a rheumatologist tomorrow. I've never received an official diagnosis, so we'll see how it goes. I fully expect to not be taken seriously there, either.

My vitamin D is still very low, after taking 10,000 units a week for 8 weeks. My folate was also low on the bloodwork I had, as well as my B12. I give myself B12 shots once a month, I've increased it to once a week.

I'm currently on several medications - celexa (I want so badly to wean myself off this poison, but cutting the dose even a little bit makes me so sick and screwed up - electrical shocks in your head, anyone?), I already successfully took myself off the wellbutrin (drs don't know yet), and depakote. I'm still on klonapin, which seems to help control the myoclonus a little. I need to get off it, though - it is addictive, and I don't entirely trust myself to keep taking it properly. Oh, and I'm also taking raw thyroid, a decision I made on my own, and it feels as though it's been a helpful one.

So, I'm taking my health into my own hands. For the next while, I'm doing a juice fast (nay, feast!). I have been eating too much processed crap lately, and my body is obviously screaming at me to do something, anything.

I'm not really following anyone's rules, although I've read a lot in the past. To start with, I'm sticking with Odwalla type juices, just to ease into it. I do have a juicer, and use that to make the green juices, etc. I'm craving pineapple like mad lately, wonder why? I have to dilute the juice quite a bit because my body can't handle too much sugar at once - I had gastric bypass surgery 10 years ago (more on that in other entries - I've no doubts that it has contributed to my issues!)

Til later, namaste.